JOB TITLE | An Ageless Wonder [Who May Be Unjustly Out of Work For The Time Being]

Shark Club Sports | Bar | Grill is looking for an Ageless Wonder with sweet hands and even sweeter hair. Job Duties: sporadic push-ups, inspirational advice as required, maybe pour a few beers every once in a while?


  • Certified sick flow, a general trendsetter with hair styles
  • A fan base that travels
  • Born in and around February 15, 1972
  • Charming accent, preferably Czech
  • Knowledge of the following cities: Pittsburgh, Washington, New York, Philadelphia, Dallas, Boston, New Jersey, Florida
  • Left handed shooters, only (who play on the right hand side)
  • Minimum 5 Art Ross Trophies

SALARY RANGE: Def not McDavid numbers, but like, unlimited burgers?

LOCATION: Wherever

To apply, send us a Tweet with proof of your wisdom & possibly your sweet flow, and we’ll take it into the DMs. (And hey, if you’re not Jaromir Jagr, we have other job openings here)